WALKING INTO MORDOR.

Where to begin? Ah yes... "In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit." Yes, that's probably where it truly began for me, but let's skip ahead a decade, many expected J.R.R Tolkien references and Orlando Bloom just crushing that blonde wig (I know, I know... when I found out he wasn't a true blonde, I also felt betrayed).

Being the first part of The Lord of the Rings, I mean, my "Field Guide to New Zealand," I'll break down the essential things to know before you go! New Zealand has so much to offer—in addition to being the playground for ultra-geeks, such as myself—and I'll get to my desert island, all time, must do's in the second part of this three-part (obviously) tribute to, by far, the most spectacular country I've every visited.

Right before the Homer Tunnel, on the way to Milford Sound, Fiordland National Park, South Island // photo by @kaycasanova.

First and foremost: go. Go if you're thinking about it, go if you aren't. That place and those people are out of this world. Literally. Would not be surprised if science reveals they're actually aliens. Logic would suggest, however, it is the extreme isolation—jump-started over 85 million years ago when present day NZ broke away from supercontinent Gondwanaland—that makes them so unique, and I cannot disagree. Aside from their less than tolerant drivers (due in part to tourists causing a high number of car fatalities, so who can blame them?), I met only amiable natives and transplants alike. There is a high volume of travelers, people with work visas, and those who are chasing an endless summer... so perhaps it is the knowledge of our temporality, long and short term, that spurs the population to live authentically and inclusively. Whatever the reason, it is completely intoxicating and easy to understand why people never leave. I clearly drank the New Zealand Kool-Aid... On that note, here's how to walk into Mordor:

1. CUSTOMS

This is not a test. Do not pass go, do not collect $200 dollars. They will collect it from you... but doubled or tripled. Like I said above, New Zealand has been isolated for quite some time and owing to this fact has an extremely rare, majestic and fragile ecosystem; ergo, introducing any new plants, animals, or pests, would endanger said system. That's understandable, right? And avoidable! Just declare your stuff, don't bring in open beef jerky (whoops), and most importantly clean out your tents and/or hiking boots you filthy animal! Also be ready to spend up to an hour going through biosecurity. They do not unleash the savages (that's you) right into the beautiful, fresh, open NZ air until we've had a thorough scrub down. Read more (legible and intelligible) info on what you can and cannot bring in from the New Zealand Government here.

2. IDENTIFICATION

Unless you are staying for an extended period of time and can get an "Above 18" ID card (info on that here), be prepared to carry your passport around if you look under 25. Since I have the stature of a hobbit and the face of a Gerber baby, this was a necessity. They are VERY strict (or at least they kept telling us they are) and will not serve you/allow you entrance into your bar of choice if you have a foreign (meaning outside of New Zealand) ID card. You can get away with not having it in certain restaurants, but why run the risk and waste a moment to gulp down another delicious New Zealand craft beer? Or the wine. All the wine.

3. RETURN FLIGHT? To book, or not to book.

They (the New Zealand government) know we all want to stay. If you're not on a work or extended visa where you have permission to stay, my understanding is that you're allowed up to three months (six months if you hold a UK passport) for your holiday, then you will be given the boot. In order to enforce compliance, booking a return flight BEFORE you board your flight to New Zealand is required. This is another do not pass go. This is a they will not let you on the flight if you don't have proof of a return ticket. Got it? Good.

4. SANDFLIES

The stuff of nightmares. These little bugs are actual monsters and they are legion. Think Cujo, but an insect. Think Jaws, but in a gnat's clothing. Think the first plague of Egypt. Now that everyone has changed their pants, I will say they can be managed. We were told they're attracted to heat and carbon dioxide, so if you're a zombie... no problem! Best practice to avoid bites: I suggest bringing some heavy duty DEET products, or you can try your luck with a more holistic repellant and not let an inch of your skin see the light of day. Only joking, that's a bit extreme! I loved the Okarito Sandfly Repellant... plus it smells delicious and it won't slowly mutate you like most DEET-containing repellants! Bottom line, you will get bitten. Don't be afraid, just be prepared. Perhaps bring those gloves they put on children's hands when they get chicken pox (so they can't/don't scratch), just for posterity, and a strong antihistamine as Plan B.

5. THE CALL OF THE WILD

That is about all you will hear in some locations. Many of the fine people we met a-travelin' opted for a new SIM card via Vodafone or Spark to stay connected. Portable wifi routers can be purchased and lugged around with you. Keep in mind the remoteness (that's why we want to go, right?) of the country, and disconnect for a while! There was usually free wifi in restaurants and bars, but in terms of the hostels and holiday parks we stayed in, it was for purchase only. Did Frodo worry about wifi? No. Do you need to? No.

6. DRIVING

Left side of the road, right side of the car. Also, be prepared to flip the windshield wipers on every other time you go to signal a lane change for the first couple of days. The indicators are on the right-hand side of the wheel. Like I said above, the recklessness of tourists in addition to the winding roads of New Zealand have caused more than enough fatalities, so please... drive responsibly.

7. CAMPERMATE

Download this app immediately! Campgrounds (self-contained, meaning an RV or camper, and otherwise), gas stations, grocery stores, road warnings, public toilets/showers, hospitals, laundromats, water, and more... all at your fingertips. Stopping short of your intended campsite? No problem. Out of food? Let them tell you where the next grocery store is. Out of gas? You're a fool, but Campermate has you covered. PLUS you can download the map so it will operate offline. You won't regret it.

8. WEATHER

Traveling to New Zealand for the month of February, the weather was spectacular. NZ resides south of the equator, and therefore winter begins (roughly) around June. Christmas in July finally makes sense (Christmas music all year round also makes sense)! Conditions tend to vary as you move through the different regions and between the two islands, so pack a versatile wardrobe and water resistant shoes or suffer the consequences. Death by hypothermia. Kidding... sort of.

On the road to Milford Sound, South Island // photo by @kaycasanova.

I would never dub myself an alarmist, and yet sometimes it's necessary to raise an alarm. Traveling is hard enough in some cases, and you don't want the odds stacked against you before you set out on a journey. Don't be those people from horror movies who hear a THUMP down in the dark, abandoned basement and suggest that everyone splits up to search the house after your friends have already been systematically taken out by a slow-moving, maniacal monster of your choosing. You know what's going to happen! Read the signs. Plan. Survive. Really it's not that dramatic, but how fun to be able to use that analogy.

As always, any questions, queries, smart remarks or to get these posts (and more!) sent right to your inbox, contact me here. See ya out there!

DISCLAIMER: all opinions, misgivings, media and encouragements relayed here are mine unless otherwise noted. In other words, I urge you, beg you, and implore you to get out there and see the world through your own eyes.

*big thank you and shout out to Caron Stewart of The Scene in Matamata (and my adopted New Zealand mother), for making sure I have the Kiwi stamp of authentication on these posts.

Even if you haven’t read Message in a Bottle or Nights in Rodanthe by Nicholas Sparks (just expect to cry enough to bottle your tears and sell them on eBay in bulk), you'll quickly understand why these emotionally manipulative, yet ultimately satisfying romantic dramedys find a home in the Outer Banks—a group of barrier islands off the coast of North Carolina, separating mainland, USA from the Atlantic Ocean.

The Outer Banks are brimming with history and a whole lot of legend: with a backbone of Mom and Pop businesses that gives this destination an authenticity you won't find in modern beach towns. For one, Roanoke Island was the site of England’s first attempt to settle in the New World (and the subject of a truly baffling disappearance), and Ocracoke Island is the alleged watery grave to Blackbeard, the notorious swashbuckler. John's Drive In on the beach road in Kitty Hawk has been around since 1977, serving up dolphin boats and the most incredible peach milkshake you will ever taste. Not to mention, the Wright brothers changed the travel game when they took their first flight in 1903, also in Kitty Hawk.

There's a noticeable heartbeat here, and it begins and ends with the ocean. Everyone feels like an old friend and people actually talk to one another, transplant or native. Who knows, maybe it's simply out of fear of accidentally drowning your phone in the Atlantic, but you're overcome with the desire to step away from electronics and look people in the eye—during and after your time here. It's pleasantly isolated and time noticeably slows down. More on that later, but for now, sit back, relax, and enjoy my desert island, all time, Top 5* Things to Do on the Outer Banks of North Carolina..**

1. Get thee to a beach.

This may be more obvious than the ending to Hamlet, however it’s absolutely the reason people wander down here in the first place—ergo, it clocks in at number one on your Outer Banks Bucket List. The open-sea, non congested beaches (we were there the week of July 4th and it still wasn't crowded) provide endless entertainment and possibilities for all, day or night! Not to mention, mother nature costs zero dollars to admire. Getting to a beach down here is like alternative facts in a press conference: easy to find and overwhelming in number, so don't be intimidated. Throw a stone in any direction and you'll hit a beach, or a person so maybe don't actually do that. If you’re feeling super frisky, head over to one of the many rental shops along the beach road and grab yourself a stand up paddle-board, surfboard, or kayak. I suggest Farmdog in Nags Head because they provide pick-up and delivery to a location of your choosing in addition to offering affordable weekly rental rates. Avoid dragging a tandem kayak a mile in the blazing sun and humidity! Don’t forget to lather up with sunscreen and fill your cooler to the brim with ample hydration. Looking to get away from nearly EVERYONE? Check out Coquina Beach: Located within the Cape Hatteras National Seashore, this is protected land, so no homes are built on the beach aka no one is around! Went for a nighttime stroll on this beach to watch a nearby lighting storm (a frequent occurrence during my week on the Outer Banks). Luckily I was with decedents of vikings, in no danger of being struck by lightning, for I was nowhere near the tallest thing on that beach. Truly the worst place to be during a thunderstorm is on a beach for, I hope, obvious reasons, so please stay safe.

PSA on getting stung by a jellyfish: I DID, it was small, it still hurt. Best practice for stings? Skip the golden shower and apply chewing tobacco, cilantro oil (or other salves that will draw OUT toxins). If you don't carry your tobacco or oils around, go for ice and compression.

2. Visit a lighthouse.

Considering the treachery of barrier islands, the Outer Banks has a few (very necessary) lighthouses to choose from. Pick your poison and venture up to the top, taking a few steps back in time to imagine what a lighthouse keeper’s life was like. Party at your lighthouse this weekend? Not a lot of standing room, but at least you would never know how tall someone really is.

Pictured below is Bodie (pronounced “body”) Island Lighthouse on the Roanoke Sound side of the Cape Hatteras Seashore. Now under the care and keeping of the National Park Service, you can walk up to the top (scheduled only eight at a time, in an attempt to preserve the ORIGINAL stairs) for a mere $10! If you happen to be around for a full moon, they have special nighttime tours up the lighthouse available. Just make sure your date isn’t a werewolf… running down 214 stairs that were erected in 1872, seems like a recipe for disaster. So does dating a werewolf, but whatever floats your boat!

Other lighthouses to scope out: Currituck Beach Lighthouse in Corolla, Cape Hatteras Lighthouse, and Ocracoke Island Lighthouse which happens to be the second oldest lighthouse in the US and North Carolina’s oldest operating lighthouse, although at 65 feet tall, it is also the shortest.

3. Walk Jockey’s Ridge National Park at sunset.

Halfway down the Outer Banks, lies Nags Head. Legend has it, pirates would tie a lantern around a nag’s neck and lead it back and forth across the sand dunes. Ships at sea, mistaking the swaying of the lantern for a ship anchored safely in a harbor, would run themselves aground along the coast attempting to make port, providing easy bounty for the pirates of Nag’s Head.

I mean, need I say more?

4. Ride a Great White Shark & mingle with the OBX Mermaids.

Across the street from Jockey’s Ridge in Nag’s Head is a quaint outdoor shopping center where, if you’re lucky, you’ll have a mermaid sighting at Kitty Hawk Kites (they also offer Mermaid Swim Lessons… complete with tail.) Keep walking and you’ll stumble across free samples and hilarious marketing at The Fudgery to get high on sugar, before finally making it to Kitty Hawk Surf to face all your childhood fears and tame the Great White Shark. $7 for the individual, or $5 per person if you want to challenge a buddy (or two), buys you three time trials atop the mechanical Jaws. If you fancy yourself a true cowboy, on your third attempt they’ll ramp it up to speed four. Try not to get bucked off in 4 seconds (the standing record.. I stayed on for 2, it was not pretty)!

5. Eat all the (sea)food.

fish head's bar and grill, through these doors!

so happy to be posing for a photo at pitman's BBQ.

Iconic bites to bite into:

John’s Drive In- Grab a milkshake and excellent fish and/or burgers at this institution! Like I said before, John’s has been around since 1977 and is still run by the original family who opened it. I will forever dream about that Peach milkshake.

Surf 'n Spoon- 16 Handles meets the beach. Come for the Salted Pretzel and stay forever.

Fish Head’s Bar and Grill- On the Outer Bank’s pier! Quintessential beach side hang out. Cannot weigh in on the food, but the view and their rotating craft beer on tap was a hole in one in my book.

Duck Donuts- Make your own donuts! Choose your own adventure from a list of coatings, toppings and drizzles. The kicker is the donut itself—it’s fresh and hot and tastes like a funnel cake. Grab a sample (or five if you're like me) while your waiting for your concoctions and you’ll see what I mean. Also an institution on the Outerbanks.

Austin’s Fresh Fish Market- One of the many fresh market’s around (with definitely the most aggressive marketing, see the Great White Shark above). Snag some local fish that’s harder to find in other destinations, like Wahoo!

Pigman’s BBQ- The Carolina’s are known for their sweet barbecue sauce, as opposed to vinegar-based sauces, but Pigman’s does both with style and originality. Throwing another wrench in traditional barbecue, they offer smoked tuna that will change your life (and opinion) on fish’s inclusion in the subtle science of bbq. Oh and try the strawberry cornbread.. their version of strawberry cake that will absolutely convert you if you were a devout biscuit lover. You can also order a picnic-to-go for an ideal beach day.. save your clothes by spilling bbq on your body!

Ocean Boulevard- Come for the specials of the day, stay for the Chocolate Ganache. Hopefully you'll be with someone who can hoist you over their shoulder and carry you out of the restaurant. Fancier than most places around, but in a very laid back beach way. Aka, wear a shirt and shoes.

Waveriders- Excellent coffee, and even better breakfast wraps. I was recommended the Bob's Wrap and it blew my socks off. Also a trove of craft and local beer for purchase, like the punny Tropic Plunder, brewed by T.W Pitcher's Brewing Co.

BEER: In an attempt to drink all the beer, here are a few North Carolina brews that can't be missed: The Golden Hind by Mystery Brewing Company; Carolina Blonde and Hoppyum IPA by Foothills Brewing Company; Anything by Mother Earth Brewing (my fave was the Endless River Kolsch-Style Ale); Anything by Highland Brewing Company; and of course if you can make it to the Outerbanks local breweries: 1718 Brewing (on Ocracoke Island!), Outer Banks Brewing Station, or Weeping Radish.. run, don't walk!

6. Bike Ocracoke island.

Ocracoke island is the alleged stomping ground of some of the most infamous swashbucklers history has seen: most notably Blackbeard. Put on your adventure pants and take the FREE ferry (usually lasts an hour) from Hatteras over to this remote island. Only accessible by boat, Ocracoke has been shaped by it’s extreme isolation, and you really won’t find another place like it. The town is a total of four square miles (the island clocks in at a whopping , so rent a bike from the dock master and explore! From it’s next to deserted beaches to the Ocracoke Lighthouse, to the Blackbeard museum… there’s so much to enjoy. Make sure to check the ferry times, unless you plan to stay overnight and have a run in with Blackbeard’s ghost…

Drink Local: If you enjoy beer, you must try anything 1718 Brewing (named for the alleged year of Blackbeard's death!) has out. Under construction since 2015, they stay relevant by stocking the local restaurants with their brews of the moment!

7. Submerge yourself in history.

blast off! from Natalie Hinds on Vimeo.

The history of the Outer Banks has something for everyone. If you lean towards early American history, check out, with caution, The Lost Colony on Roanoke Island. I was drawn to this because of the story you assume it would tell, but I cannot consciously recommend it to anyone unless you are genuinely interested in vaguely accurate storytelling in a thousand degree heat. The actors are the true MVPs here, singing and dancing in this outdoor amphitheater in full Elizabethan garb. The script lacks direction, and is bogged down with attempts at slapstick comedy, that distracts from the actual history. Apparently the show has transformed over the years, so here’s to hoping it will transform again soon, or the production staff will at least add a dialect coach to their payroll. For more information on the EERIE story of the disappearance of the colonists of Roanoke Island (and the inspiration for American Horror Story, season six), let the actual historians tell you here.

If you are drawn to the sea and it’s unforgiving nature, visit the Graveyard of the Atlantic Museum. There have been so many shipwrecks along the coastline of the Outer Banks, the sunken ships are referred to by National Geographic as the “Ghost Fleet of the Outer Banks.” The museum is located near the Hatteras ferry docks, so if you have some time to kill while waiting for the Ocracoke ferry, this is a perfect solution!

Last, but certainly not least, the Wright Brother’s Monument is a must-see for travelers and aviation geeks alike. Located on top of the same hill in Kill Devil Hills where they systematically tested their inventions and eventually succeeded in 1903, you can visit the memorial and catch a breathtaking view of Kitty Hawk Bay at sunset. Don’t get any wild ideas about jumping off the hill—it’s much higher than you would imagine.

8. Talk a stroll down a pier.

While piers were originally built for a number of reasons, more often than not they now appear for recreational purposes (FISHING). Jeanette’s Pier is open until midnight, where you can watch locals fish and maybe spot a crab or two scurrying through the water. On the Outer Banks Pier, there will be plenty of fisherman as well, but you can quench your thirst by first visiting Fishhead’s for a cold beer... try not to lean too far over into the extremely inviting water though, don't want a Rose Dewitt Bukater/Jack Dawson, "I was looking at the propellers" situation on our hands! Or do we... : )

Save something for next time…

Here’s the part in the story where I say it’s impossible to do everything you want to do, and it’s always best to save something for next time. This allows a destination to retain a little bit of mystery, and gives you a reason to return. So clocking in at numbers 9 and 10, rounding out my list to a nice even number, and encouraging you to boldly go where I have not gone before:

9. See the wild horses.

Rent a four-wheel drive vehicle in Corolla to catch a glimpse of the wild horses native to North Carolina. More information here.

10. Scuba or snorkel the “Ghost Fleet of the Outer Banks”

Shark, right ahead! Like I mentioned above, the treacherous coast of the Outer Banks (not to mention the very mischievous pirates who once made port there), provided a perfect opportunity for ships to wreck themselves along it through the years. Check out Dive Hatteras, for more information. I know I will because, didn't the old lady drop it into the ocean in the end? I will pretend to search for the Heart of the Ocean (& Leo DiCaprio as Jack Dawson), while cooly observing the sandtiger sharks, and desperately trying to get the Jaws theme song out of my head. Help.

That's all I've got for now! Go on, get! I'm officially White Fanging you. Get outta here and start exploring! And yea, yea there’s more than five must-dos, but if Nick Hornby in High Fidelity* can bend the rules of list-making, so can I. I should also be given an award, or at least a firm handshake, for all the times I wanted to reference Moana and/or The Little Mermaid. I'm not above it, but considering this is the first post, I figured... let's start off slow. For all questions, comments, queries or any smart remarks (you animals), contact me here.

**my dear friend, cohort, and OBX native Brooke Jacobson (follow her expeditions @brookieobx) and her fiancé were my fearless leaders around the island. Special thanks to you both for the suggestions and guidance, I couldn’t have done it without you!

FIELD GUIDE TO NEW ZEALAND, PART ONE: